What Is & What Should Never Be
by moonswirl
Summary: Gleekathon, day four hundred and three: After Jesse tells her she needs to move to Lima, Rachel makes her decision.


_Started my daily ficlets to make the hiatus pass, then decided to keep going with a 2nd cycle, and then a 3rd, 4th, etc through 18th cycle. Now cycle 19!_

**TV Tiles Cycle **- So this is Cycle 20! I wanted to do something special, so here we are! Some of you may remember a while back me asking for episode titles from tv shows. I've always found that a lot of shows have great episode titles, so this is how this cycle came to be. Each story will be inspired and titled after an episode from a different show. The influence of the episode may vary from story to story, not seeking to rely completely on it ;) You'll see...  
**Today's Show/Title:** "Supernatural" - _What Is & What Should Never Be_

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**"What Is & What Should Never Be"  
Rachel, Jesse/Rachel  
Berry-St #8 (sequel to Seeing through the smoke) **

She'd driven off at first, just needing to get away, more than anything. It wasn't until she could see the Lima city limits in her rear-view mirror that she hit the brakes and caught her breath. It had been real, she knew that more or less from the start. But all this time she'd been in this place where almost nothing was familiar, so as much as she knew it was real, she didn't have to think about it too much.

Then she'd driven into Lima… everything looked the same, so maybe it wasn't real after all… As silly as it might have been, she'd actually let herself believe that it wasn't real after all… Then she'd gone to McKinley. Nothing too different at first, until she got to the auditorium. She didn't want to risk being seen by anyone, so she went upstairs so she could look down from the dark. What she found wasn't so different at first, but then she saw Jesse, as she'd been led to expect from that video Shelby had shown them. Still it did something to her to see him; she couldn't help it. He…

She saw Quinn at his side and… In her head, she knew Quinn had her baby by now, except 'now' to those people on that stage wasn't for a few months more, and there was no sign of a belly. If that wasn't enough to cement her understanding that it was no fluke, she saw the way Quinn was sticking to Jesse's side; she'd seen it plenty of times before, only she'd be hanging on to Finn's arm.

She'd continued to watch, and then… Jesse spotted her. She didn't even think, she just moved to leave. But he caught up. She really wasn't sure how she was supposed to act or respond… Somehow it hadn't dawned on her he might be just as aware as she was, about the fact that this world was wrong. But then there it was; he said it, just came right out with it. After that, as they actually tried to figure out what on earth was going on… That was when it felt most real… and it freaked her out. She had to get out of there.

She made it back 'home' – still didn't feel like it – and went up to her room. She was on her own, which was just as well. She needed all the concentration she could get as she considered what Jesse had asked her to do.

It all made sense, sure, but it was still so sudden. She hadn't even fully adjusted to all of this, and she didn't know that she could handle a move like that. She did have three days to decide, although it felt like less… The later she started the motions for it, the longer it'd be before she'd be there…

She lied back on her bed with a sigh… She kind of didn't have a choice, did she? She wouldn't know what to do with herself, wouldn't know how to get herself back home again. Somehow Jesse had a much better grasp of the situation, so her best chance… it was to be where he was.

Family in Lima… Well, sure, she wouldn't see why that would have changed. Although… She followed a hunch and went to find Dad's address; if he wasn't living with them, then maybe… She almost teared up again when she saw that, not only was he in Lima, he lived in their old… their real home. That decided it. She didn't like this place; she wanted her room.

As much as it would hurt Pop, she knew what she had to do. Her only comfort was in knowing this wasn't in fact her Pop she'd be hurting, and still it wasn't the best of comforts. But she went to him that night, and she told him she wanted to go live with Dad, in Lima, that she was unhappy where she was, and she needed to make a change, right away. It did just as she thought it would, but in the end he said he'd call Dad and see what they could do.

The next day, Pop had told her Dad had said yes and that he'd contacted the local school – McKinley High – about transferring her. They would take care of everything, but there was one thing she had to do herself… She had to tell Shelby. If anything, the moment had some promise as far as figuring out where this world's Rachel stood as far as knowing who Shelby Corcoran really was to her.

She was… a friend. When she told her she was leaving, it became clear she'd never told her she was her mother, although she was so different with her, one-on-one, than she was in her real world… Maybe because they'd known each other longer here… If one thing made her doubt leaving, Shelby was it… But she had to go. She would have thought it'd be the other way around, really… She was with Vocal Adrenaline in this world, they were appreciated, successful… Every time she saw all those trophies in her room her knees got a little weak… And if that wasn't enough, she was that much closer to her mother…

But it wasn't right. She'd only been there a couple days and she knew she was missing something. The rest, that was still kind of blurry for her. All she knew was she needed something to feel like home… and she wasn't finding it here.

She was all set to start at McKinley in two days, the morning after she was set to meet with Jesse. So until then, she just had to relocate. She had to imagine she had a room over there, too, with all her things, but she also had to gather up some things to bring along… Now all she had to do was figure which ones…

The next day, Pop and her had gotten in their cars and started toward Lima. He wanted to see her off, and she wasn't going to say anything about it. The only thing she was worried about was seeing Pop and Dad together but not together… She didn't want to see them fighting. So when they arrived, she went right on upstairs after a Pop bear hug.

Her room made her… uncomfortable. There were yet more trophies, and overall the place looked like nothing she remembered. She put her bag down and just fell back on the bed. Her brilliant plan for familiarity had gone and collapsed all around her.

"Can I come in?" She looked up at the sound of Dad's voice. There he stood, at the door, with that smile of his… It made her smile back and she sat up.

"Sure, Dad." He came in and sat next to her. She looked down for a beat, and he took her arm.

"Everything okay? I thought you were fine over there." She just shrugged. "Not that I'm complaining. I'm always happy to have my princess here," he put his arm around her shoulders and she smiled. "That's better," he nodded and she laughed. "Want to help me with dinner? No one around here makes cookies like you," he fished for a smile and caught one. She paused for a moment though, remembering… Jesse… But her father… She supposed it'd be fine, she'd see him the next day anyway… She was finally seeing home.

"Just leave me some this time, okay?"

"I make no promises," he put his hands up, which made her chuckle. They had a good evening, the two of them. It wasn't long before she realized that Dad wasn't used to such an evening with his Rachel, which only made her want to make him even happier.

It gave her courage for the next day. She wasn't going to be attending classes yet, but she had to 'meet' the principal, and then… the Glee Club director. As she neared the auditorium, she could hear the music, the voices… She felt shivers just thinking about it. Back when she'd first joined them, it had taken her a while to understand they were where she belonged. She'd quit, rejoin, quit, rejoin… But she was past that, and now she needed them… She just had to remember they wouldn't have any idea who she was, and neither would Mr. Schuester.

She kept to the shadows as she called him out. It gave her pause, seeing from up close the sadness Jesse had told her about. Well, maybe the arrival of one Rachel Berry would bring a smile to his face again…

After explaining herself to him, Mr. Schuester had taken her back in to meet the Club. There were twelve pairs of eyes staring back at her on that stage, and only one of them didn't show apprehension or loathing… she was part of 'the enemies,' after all.

She and Jesse both knew it would draw too much attention if they acted as though they knew each other. So as everyone was shuffling off for their next number, Jesse signalled, and she knew what it meant: Library.

After practice, she watched them all leave, counted a number of dirty side-looks… Well this was going to be lovely… Maybe Jesse's claim that he wasn't accepted wasn't accepted wasn't that far off. Heading off to the library, she found a lot more willingness to hear him out than she had started off with.

THE END

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**A/N: This is a one-shot ficlet, which means that signing up for story alert will not bring you any alerts.  
****In the event of a sequel, the story will be separate from this one. And as chapter stories go, they are  
****always clearly indicated as such [ex: "Days 204-210" in the summary] Thank you!**


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